it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
