fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
