I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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