I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
