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I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize