It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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