Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
