best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
