Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
