He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
