we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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