My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
