How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bring money and cleavage
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
