Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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