when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
