me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
