Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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