and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
