Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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