I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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