Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
