would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
