She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
