My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
