C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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