Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
