is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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