I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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