my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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