It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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