just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize