So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
