a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize