Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
