I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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