So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
