you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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