I bet he comes in French.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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