problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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