He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
