Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
