Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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