She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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