What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
