just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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