Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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