Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize