apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
