Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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