why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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