How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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