is your mom at the bar?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
