Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
