i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Randomize
