No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
