There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
