Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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