I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You ruined the universe
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
