porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
