I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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