Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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