and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
