sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
