So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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