There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
