I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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