OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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