i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
