So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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