if only i could text you this smell
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize